She & Him Merch Concept
What is that one band, that one album, etc, that you can put on at any time and relax with...
Have you ever felt the rug being pulled out from under you? Just as you’re getting used to something, and perhaps even liking it, its all taken from you? For three years I worked part time as an after-school educator and part time as a marketer at a university library. On top of both of those I still continued my freelance photography business and went to school fulltime. I couldn’t stay busy enough, apparently. My goal then was to just simply get by, get a stable job (any stable job), and survive. If you know anything about my story before this, you know that survival was crucial and not always guaranteed for me (more on that in blogs to come). I chugged along with this schedule for 3-ish years. Then the pandemic hit. I lost all of my jobs in the course of one year because of the pandemic.I started 2021 completely unemployed. No elementary school job, no tutoring, no freelancing, no library. A saving grace came in the form of a friend who pointed out that even though I didn’t get a history degree (instead I got a degree in Integrated Professional Studies, whatever the hell that means) that I had enough history credits where I could still qualify to teach. I put pedal to the metal and I submitted applications to all surrounding counties for a social studies position and I got one. Just like that, I was realigned with my original goal, the whole reason I had gone back to school: to teach history. Even better, I would be teaching 6th grade where I got to study ancient civilizations with my students, one of my favorite subjects.
I continued working in education for the next two and a half years. The job had its downsides but none of it mattered because I was stable, steady, and fulfilled. I infused creativity into everything I did as a teacher including my basic understanding of video games which eventually resulted in me getting Teacher of the Month!
I created my own resources and sold them on TPT (Teachers Pay Teachers) as an extra source of income. For a while I thought nothing could lead me away from teaching. Then the time came for me to get my state certification. I was qualified to teach (and I was damn good at it) but I wasn’t certified or licensed. Part of the agreement when I signed on was that I would get my certification within my first 3 years on the job. I was quickly approaching year 3. One among many problems with the education system was that even if you were already working as a teacher you would need to pay for your certification and any classes, materials, or tests required for it. I could stand on this soapbox all day but I’ll just simply say: I don’t agree with that. I decided if I was going to go through this process I may as well go to a district that could pay me more. What a mistake that was.
There is part of my survival instinct that encourages me to find the next best thing even when my current situation is more than fine. This was one of those moments. I loved my school, the students, and the coworkers. I just wanted more. I went to a district that required less travel and also paid more. They offered me a swanky bonus and I moved up a grade. At the time it seemed like the right move but as I went through the onboarding process red flags began to sprout all over the place.
The first red flag: there was no onboarding process. I was promptly shown my new room, told to be in the cafeteria for a school-wide training and that was pretty much it. As I set up my room on the first day, I had not a single soul come and introduce themselves to me.
The second red flag: When I finally did meet with my social studies team and began working with them I realized there was far more oversight here than there was at my last school. Something I loved about my other school was that I was given a rough outline for the topics to cover and then it was up to me to creatively convey those topics to match my students’ abilities and curiosities.
And finally, the straw that broke the camel’s back as it were, was the harassment.
I was excited to have the students return. After two weeks of professional development and planning I knew all the uncomfortableness would be worth it once those kids walked through the door. Being so excited was why I would then be so disappointed with what actually happened. Within the first two weeks of classes my students had caught on to the fact that Mr. Gardner was gay. I had rainbow decor scattered lightly across the room, Marsha P. Johnson on my walls in multiple places, and when asked directly I answered truthfully. I don’t believe in lying to children. This was nothing new. I first noticed that students would whisper when I would pass them and giggle as I caught on to what they would say. Words like “gay” and “fag” circled around me. But if I learned one thing working with middle schoolers it was that you couldn’t let teases get to you. The name calling morphed into calling me Mrs. Gardner and ma’am over and over again trying to elicit a reaction. But they wouldn’t catch me like that. They would have to try harder. And they did.
During release one day a particularly tough student screamed across the room: “Mr. G, is it true that gay people pull boys’ pants down?” I responded with “absolutely not” and thought that was the end of it. I heard from the same student on a different day that multiple parents had requested to be removed from my class due to me being gay. A few days later I noticed a couple of students missing and was told they were relocated without any further context as to why. The same problematic student then began a class-wide bet that she could make me cry or quit.
Her and a friend once called me over during group work and waved a loose hot dog in my face and said “I bet you like these, don’t you?”, clearly insinuating sexual innuendo. After a couple of discussions with my admin they stated they could not move these children that were causing problems but all the while I was still losing other students with no real explanation.. In total I lost 3 students before one day I got pulled into the principal’s office. It was late September and it was the first time she had talked to me since joining the school. A parent had contacted the superintendent.
I had been complaining to my assistant principal about my harassment from students for weeks and, being a gay person himself, all he could offer me was sympathy and detention for the culprits. The principal apparently had little knowledge of what I had been going through. The complaint from the parent was that I was actively teaching LGBT history and lifestyle to the students. I had explained to the students after being asked that we would be touching on LGBT issues during the civil rights movement section of our class and then I described what else I had been experiencing.
I want to be clear that my principal and assitant principal both expressed nothing but support for me. But I was still going to be brought into a meeting with members of the school board and at the mention of this I erupted into tears of fear and frustration. I confided in a mentor of mine and she advised me to seek legal counsel from our teacher’s organization immediatley.
I was never placed under a full investigation. The moment I expressed that I was getting legal help my meeting with the board was downgraded to a simple chit-chat with one of the board members along with my principal. I was advised to not have this meeting without representation but I did it anyway. I explained my situation, I explained the scenerio the complaint was about (the parent also complained that I had wigs in my supply closet, like OK, wtf), and then I detailed the harassment I had been experiencing. The response from the board member was quick and unhelpful: “Sorry to hear that, stick to the curriculum.”
I count myself lucky that I wasn’t fired on the spot. In other parts of the country I could have been. But I still know, and knew then, that this was far from an appropriate response. So I decided then that I was going to leave.
I applied for 5 jobs a day, every day, until I got interview after interview. I ducked out of meetings (and sometimes classes) to take phone calls. I was doing anything I could to change my fate. I was teaching when I got the call. I had gotten a job as a content marketer! I remember the call vividly because I had HR repeat that I would, in fact, have an hour long lunch everyday. Me, the teacher who hadn’t had a lunch by myself in 5.5 years, would now have an hour long lunch every-damn-day. When I put in my notice I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. My principal feigned surprise and asked if there was anything they could have done for me to stay and I bit my tongue. No matter how much support I was told I had I still was the one facing the consequences alone. My students took it hard, which was surprising to me since I thought the majority of them were in on the bet to get rid of me. I still miss a couple of them but I’d be lying if I said I thought about them often.
The education system has a really bad rap in America, and for good reasons. But when I started in education it saved me from instability. I found passion and creativity there. I thought it was going to be my forever career. Unfortunately it’s broken foundations and the level of harassment I experienced was enough to push me away. In hindsight, I think I avoided a possibly higher level of investigation. If I had stayed I could have ended up worse off. But just like with my first marketing job at the library, I was saved by a combination of people who saw potential in me and my own determination and drive to get myself to the next step.
